Baby Blue Spinning Heart Within A Heart
- study japanese
- finish hello charlotte w cousin asexual
- work on comms
- save money for school + trip
- rework pages on neocities
"No matter what, there’s no way I could’ve helped him. There was no way of fixing him either. That’s why the house is the way it is. We’re I convinced I could change him, or anyone…they would’ve ended up being the brainwashed, unnaturally happy versions of themselves. Never once have I wished for that."
Mood Strange
Media Hello Charlotte Episode 3
Eating/Drinking Nacho Cheese Doritos
Music I Come With Knives by IAMX
Sunday the 29th
Yesterday I finished my yearly playthrough of Hello Charlotte. It took a lot longer than last year. Last year I was done on January 2nd while this year I finished on the 28th. However, I got my video of me crying while Emmy is singing the Among Us theme so that's a good thing. This replay has really just made me inspired to make my Hello Charlotte shrine and I am already working on it. I have basically the entire layout done I just need to put the actual content into the boxes. I was super inspired by both the Hello Charlotte shrines on two of my mutuals' sites (diluculo and gothiclolita).

Hello Charlotte is really probably the most important piece of media in my life. I know I'm planning on gushing about it in the shrine itself but I have to at least get some of it out of here. I think that really, Hello Charlotte made be realize and accept so many things about myself and my trauma because of the fact that the characters in the series went through almost the exact same things as me. At some points, down to a T. I also noticed a lot of things on my latest playthrough of Ep 3…here's a random list of them!
  • Never read the introduction text of the Gallery but I did this time and man. It makes sense they're all about Charles
  • The Quiet God is Vincent and the Skin Princess is Anri. They're supposed to be stories of their universes
  • Bennett killed Felix under "Huxley's orders"...but he still wanted to follow what Felix asked of him so he forces Scarlett to F11
  • Q84 is a lot like Flowey. That's so cringe to say but like this playthrough was the first time I really understood that she was aware of it being a game and therefore ended up becoming bored so that's why she acts the way she does
  • Rehab Friday is going to be so fucked up and I am so excited. Florence's story about Uberia and Bennett's cube are the only things we've ever learned about the place so I'm literally so excited for this
  • Felix never uses the word god or gods and instead for some nerdy reason uses sciencce. The rest usually use plural gods

  • I'm glad that a lot of etherane's Tumblr has been archived but I'm also sad that it's not up anymore because that means I have to go through Wayback for any art/info I want to see. It kinda sucks. I wish Ane had kept their account up especially because there was a lot of information about the characters on there. I also think about how there's a ton of Persona fanart on Ane's Tumblr a lot. Thank god for Wayback Machine I guess.

    Tomorrow I am going to start Heaven's Gate. I am absolutely both ecstatic and terrified. I have yet to replay/reread Heaven's Gate since I first played it in 2020. I'm excited because I want to see something new and be able to remember all this fucked up shit. I also am excited because I want to see more Charles and Anri and Vincent because they're my favies. But I'm also terrified because I remember literally having to take a break from the game when I played it because it was too much for me to handle. I think that I might be in a better mindset right now than I was in 2020 especially for reasons that will…be left implied…but either way. I'm excited to play it with Cousin Asexual.

    I think that's enough Hello Charlotte talk. If I kept going on, I would likely have nothing to talk about on my shrine itself! I guess this is the part of the mostly autism entry that I talk about life updates. Hm…well the Scholastic Art and Writing Competition results came out and I only got an honorable mention. I talked about this in my blog entry but really, I still can't believe it. I can't talk more about it though cause I'll definitely get worked up. The Marking Period for my school is almost over and I'm trying to fix my grades before that. Tomorrow I have an AP Psych test and I am NOT looking forward to it.

    I really have nothing much else to talk about…This will probably be my last January entry. Until February!
    Mood Tired & Behind on Work
    Media LOONA videos
    Eating/Drinking Iced Sweet Tea Again
    Music Charger by Gorillaz
    Wednesday the 18th
    Right now I'm writing this as I watch LOONA stuff on the Google Drive archive of all their videos. Sigh. I miss them so badly. These past days have been hard knowing they still aren't free from BBC. It's made even worse when I see their messages on Fab. I wish I could reach out to them and hug them and tell them everything's going to be okay. LOONA means so much to me genuinely. They've changed my life. It hurts so bad to see how terribly they're being treated. I've been trying to pay attention to other things but it has genuinely been making me depresed. I believe in them though. Dalso dalso kaja!

    I really hope that LOONA is able to redebut but at the same time I don't want them to be in a situation like this at all again. Though, Yeojin and Yves have said they do want to be idols still and Kim Lip has said she's going to keep singing. So I think that it would be best for most of them. I just want them to be okay and happy again! I want to see them on stage once more :(

    Well, I have some good news aside from LOONA. I got into AP Art! I'm already starting on my art for it since I'm supposed to have around 3 pieces before the beginning of the year. I have a few ideas for the art pieces. My first piece is going to be a self portrait with a ton of stuffed animals around me. I'm gonna use stuffed animals i own and then some others that I don't own and just wanna draw. It's probably gonna be some sort of commentary about autism and growing up and whatever but right now I just wanna have fun drawing and taking pictures of me with a ton of my stuffed animals.

    I have a ton of things to do for my AP Psych class. And by things, I mean notes. I have a ton of chapters to read and then write down notes. However, I hate writing notes right now for some reason so I'm just not gonna do it. I'm probably gonna ask my friends for these notes so that I can get them down before my teacher does a homework check and I in fact fail it. That's the least of my worries though. Once again, I'm more worried about LOONA and art stuff right now.

    Oh! Speaking of art, I opened commissions specifically to help for my tuition for my summer precollege program. There's a very high chance I won't get a scholarship because the full scholarship is only 2 each year. I definitely need a full one because I literally could not pay it on my own. So, I decided to prepare for the worst and open comms in the off chance that I either get a half one or not a scholarship at all. And I really really need the money because I want to go so fucking bad dude. If any of you guys are interested in this you should check my Twitter or Toyhouse @hunipyons for twt and @hunipyon for Toyhouse because I'm really desperate lol.

    In just a few days I will get my Scholastic Art competition regional results back. I'm super hyped!! I really hope I get an award...I put a lot of effort in my art for it so I'm hoping I really get anything. I've also been doing pretty well with work lately and I started doing a few things I've been meaning to like a few prompts for the closed species I'm a part of and working on school stuff. I've been really productive lately and I'm proud of that!

    My goal for these next few weeks is to finish up some art and work on this Neocities again! I want to start doing more updates than just diary entries and I also want to pay attention to actually finishing a diary entry before I update it. I'm gonna go work on that stuff right now actually! Great way to end a diary entry :P

    Mood Sleepy
    Media Moral Orel (rewatching)
    Eating/Drinking Iced Sweet Tea
    Music Me and My Husband by Mitski
    Saturday the 14th
    It was flurrying today! Close enough to snow but not quite there…The weather for the rest of the week has almost no percipitation. I'm just gonna give up on hoping that there's snow by now. The weather was cold, but not cold enough to where my driving lesson was cold. In fact, I literally got yelled at my mother for not wearing a sweater to the lesson but then when I finished I was sweating everywhere. TMI I know but that fucking car was HOT.

    Aside from being hot, my driving lesson was alright I suppose. I actually drove around the block over and over again and was working on practicing turns. I'm still really terrified of driving and I freak out half the time but I think I'm getting better? Maybe? I'm scared of my next lesson since my next lesson will be actually on the road and not just on my block. I'm terrified of causing a crash LMAO, that would probably make me never drive again.

    I've been working on my characters for a few different roleplay servers lately. I'm excited to be able to roleplay again since the last time I was doing so it ended up being kinda. shitty. I'm really looking forward to being able to draw OCs again. Something I'm also working on is my closed species! It's been really fun to design a ton of characters and it's been even more fun to actually work on the lore and stuff. I'm so excited to actually have this species launched.

    Today I had work as well, and it was actually really fun. Usually when I have work it takes forever but today, I actually finished over 30 minutes early. It's because the workers were actually doing what they need to. Tomorrow, I have work too but I actually think that the same people that were working today are working tomorrow so I probably will be finished early again.

    Being finished early again will be good too because I have a movie to see tomorrow! I'm seeing Puss in Boots with my friends and it's gonna be a late night viewing. Plus it's at a dine-in theatre too!! I'm really excited. This three day weekend seems to be going good so far really. I also watched the new Drag Race episode today. I kinda was surprised the person who went home actually went home because I thought the other bottom queen did worse but. yknow. Drag Race sucks sometimes but I still watch it.

    This is a short entry but really I don't have much to say! Today was good. I'm excited for the rest of this weekend.

    Mood Excited
    Media Delicious Party Precure
    Eating/Drinking Nothing right now
    Music Hyper Cracker by ASP
    Monday the 9th
    The weather today is a comforting cold. There was a chance of snow and I wish so badly that it has. Unfortunately there was not a single snowflake in sight. Sigh…I really wish we had snow. I feel like this entire winter has just been dull without snow. My mother got a photo memory of me and my little sister playing in the snow from last year January and it makes me mad because we've had like no snow!!

    As of now, I feel as though I am doing quite well. I had a strange day today. I was stressed out about a math test the entire day- the reason being because they weren't allowing me to use a calculator for the first part of it. I have been attempting to get a 504, which is for accommodations and extra help, but so far it has taken a whopping three months and I've seen little to no progress on it. It somewhat feels on purpose by now, like they really just don't want me to have help. I was trying to get it done before this test since I needed a calculator but unfortunately, they haven't done it. Even so, I think I did good on the test- Or at least the part that did allow a calculator. I understand what I'm doing, I just have never been one to know mental math

    Aside from my math stress, today was alright. I had my first therapy appointment where I talked and rambled a lot with the therapist giving me some things to actually do but mostly just listening. I've never had therapy without my mother in the room with me, mostly talking for me. Being an undiagnosed autistic kid is like a free trial of hell. I could never learn how to express myself, but I sure as hell could tell you in depth about everything I like. I suppose that's sort of the exact thing therapy is for: learning to express yourself. It was a good appointment and I didn't cry. But at the same time it was really nerve wracking.

    I haven't seen many people talk about just how draining therapy is. Not because of anything deep or things like that but just because it's so very emotionally tiring to talk about my feelings. The moment I finished therapy, I laid down in bed and fell asleep. I told myself I would get up at 6PM to do my work but I ended up falling asleep til 8PM. Initially when I woke up I was really angry at myself for letting myself sleep for so long but I realized it really didn't matter all that much. I ended up doing my homework anyway and finishing it all up. The only homework I genuinely have to worry about is these medical assignments I do for gym. They're made for people to make up their grades when they're on medical excuse when they like break a bone or something. However, I'm just disabled and I won't be going back to gym, so I never saw the point in them forcing these assignments on me. I'll just try to get someone else to do them for me LOL.

    I suppose it's strange to make a January diary and not talk about New Years. But that's mostly because I already did that on my 2022 recap page! I've been taking way longer to finish that than needed but hey, it's still there. So if you wanna hear all about my year and my plans for this year then you can just check that out instead of reading my long personal diary entries.

    I went to a Japanese market yesterday with two of my friends and had a blast. I also was able to grab some stuff I genuinely needed, like a Kanji textbook and workbook. This year I am going to work extra hard on my Japanese studies. I hope to pass the N5 sometime this year! I also grabbed almost all the Precure items they had there including a coloring book and a few charms and pins. I also got a Creamy Mami figure that I'm super excited to put on my Magical Girl Shelf.

    Speaking of Precure..guess what?! Hirogaru Sky Precure information, designs, website, and trailer are all up. When writing this entry, I genuinely thought about making the entire thing just about the new Precure but I decided diaries are also supposed to actually include talking about my day and things I've done. But now, it's Precure time! thoughts. I'm not sure what to think about a blue leader. But I guess for a 20th anniversary they had to do something different. However, that doesn't mean I don't love Cure Sky's design! I honestly love them all. I am so happy we got an Orange cure becaues that's literally exactly what I wanted on my list of wants for this new season. Now Princess Elle-Chan...that's a different can of worms. I think she looks so stupid and I'm so used to annoying babies but I'm hoping so so so much that they aren't gonna make her annoying.

    My favorite design so far is Cure Butterfly. I think she looks like a gyaru girl. I hope she's super cute and I hope even more that Cure Wing is a boy or at least a Cure Sunshine situation (aka transgender). I need to stop myself from going on about Precure because I am planning on talking about my thoughts on my Magical Girl Tumblr henshinskymirage but I still really just love Precure and I'm excited for the new season. I hope it's more plot driven than DeliPaPre!

    Today was alright and it was fun aside from stress. I hope the rest of the month has better days that aren't half taken from my fucking stupid school.