21st of march
oh boy. it's the 21st of march and my march diary has just been made. i could go on about how sad i am that i haven't had time to work on my passion project (that being this site itself) but i really don't really see it as that big of a deal right now. plus, the problem isn't even within me at this point, it's actually just because of school, the anniversary of my grandfather's death coming up, my short film, commissions, and work. i believe those are quite good reasons to not be working on neocities so im being less hard on myself and working on things that matter. that being said, i want to get back into at least the swing of diaries and blogposts. i have been on a schedule lately and i think it's really good for my mental health and especially my autism. i would love to continue chronicling my days to help me keep up with that schedule and to remember things that happened everyday. being a littleeee bit mentally ill, it's definitely important for me to remember things

so whats been up with me lately? i've been meaning to update you guys on my life but since i haven't written a diary entry in a long time i haven't done so. i tried in february but i was really depressed and didn't even wanna finish it. i think that i'm doing better now, so i'm going to try to do this again. just basic things yknow? give a whole life update

ap art, nahs, and commissions
i have been making good progress with my first ap art piece- the painting. i have also been working on two other pieces. my first piece is one about being disabled and chronic pain especially in schools and will include a ton of different versions of me with temperature coloring with the hottest being where the pain is. my second piece is an image of growing up and still feeling like a child (mitski reference. lol. tall child). it will be an image of me as a kid in an oversized dress, pearl necklace, big shoes, etc, putting on lipstick in the mirror. in the mirror though, would be an older version of me doing the same thing. i'm wracking my brain with the idea of possibly making it so the version outside of the mirror has more childish things like all the soaps and bathroom things being like child versions or like fisher price toys but idk how i feel about that yet. will probably do a digital mockup eventually to check

with national art honors society, my school has decided to make a mural! i'm super excited to be a part of a mural painting however i'm also a little sad because the murals are rarely actually completely student made. for most of ours it has been a random artist who comes in and draws it and does most of it and we just paint the parts we are told to paint. plus there's a ton of murals at school that are really ugly and if they don't get redone soon i'm gonna be so fucking angry. but anywho, we're working on the design and hopefully will have some say in the matter

with commissions, i have finished my 2 chibi commissions for my dear friends. it took a longer time than i really wanted it to but what can ya do about it. i’m so glad that it was for my friends because if it wasn’t i would never take that long lmao. but here they are i think they’re really cute next to each other… i really hope that i can get more comms esp couple chibi comms bc they’re so so fun!!

aside from these chibi comms, one of my other friends just bought a bust comm from me!! it was only like $38 so i’m gonna finish that soon. it is…a team fortress 2 character but i accept my autistic friend’s interests

short film festival
i don’t think i have a lot done compared to what i should have done on my short film. however, i’ve heard that literally no one in the animation category has any more than what i have done which is a minute and a half animatic. so i guess i’m doing better than most

i’ve been working on the “script” and i’m having trouble basically just figuring out a good way to fit everything in. we have a “5 minute limit” but they really just don’t realize how hard it is to tell a story in 5 minutes. i’m just hoping they let me do mine a little bit longer because mine is the most personal according to the person running the film festival

me and my really close friend are working on it and thinking that it’s probably gonna be an animatic instead of a true animation only because it’s impossible to make an animation so fast. i guess all i need is luck and a lot of effort to figure this out!

college, summer program, and scholarships
lately i’ve been working on figuring out some college things. i have a good portion of my commonapp application done already even though i’m still only in junior year. i’ve also been working on a list of colleges i want to apply, the deadlines and requirements for application and the fees. i’m really working towards getting an early start so that even though deadlines are around january for most art schools, i can be able to be working on it very early

yesterday i slept through a zoom meeting for my summer program i’ve applied to. oops. the scholarship deadline was on the 15th and since then, every day i have been checking my emails and freaking out hoping and praying that somehow i will get a full scholarship. they say that the results will be released early april however it seems they have made a complete lapse in judgment because tuition is due in FULL by may 1st. that gives me like less than a month depending on when they release the results if i don’t get a full scholarship. i’ve been saving money but there was no way for me to know what type of money i’m gonna need for whatever partial scholarship i get if not a full one because there’s no set prices for the partial ones

although i’ve been freaking out over and over again about this scholarship i’m still really hoping to god that i get to go. i’ve been trying to think very positively about it, and just planning on what i’m gonna do there itself. we’re going to be able to decorate our dorms and have foundation classes both of which i think are some of the parts i’m most excited about. the dorms because if my best friend gets in as well that means we will have entirely decorated dorms and it will be so fun. plus i get to see how my 2 other roommates decorate their rooms too since it’s two adjacent rooms connected by a bathroom. i’m just excited to get a taste of college life. the foundation classes i’m excited for because since i’m poor (lol) i’ve never had the opportunity to really study anatomy. i’m excited to be able to really do live figure drawing and direct observation because even though i have been doing that for a while, a class for this would probably be so much better

i’m just also really excited to work on my portfolio especially the sketchbooks for the few colleges that require a sketchbook (calarts sketchbook tour here i come)!! college is scary to think about but it’s also really exciting haha

work, grades, and dance
recently, my job has switched into a different app and clock in way. it’s a whole palm print instead of a fingerprint now and it’s even more hard to figure out. my clocking in has not been working the entire time since we switched. on thursday when i come in i’m gonna have to redo my entire thing because i need my clock in to work so i can actually get paid correctly

aside from that, work has been actually very good. me and my brother were having some troubles with our coworkers but it was fixed really quick. my friend was trying to get to work at the same place as us but she can’t work weekends because of shabbat so she was denied. hopefully my friend who just quit softball can work though

this marking period is the first time i’ve been on an As and Bs only roll since a while. i have only a few weeks left of the marking period itself (three if i'm correct?) so as long as we don't have a giant test in any of my classes i assume i may have my first honor roll marking period this year. schoolwork has been a little bit much lately but i've been dealing with it. my ap classes are so close to the exam so we've been just not doing many tests and instead doing more things like notes and just going over presentations. thankfully that means not a lot of actual work but a LOT of studying

with dance…oh my god dance. so i'm in this dance crew right and it's super fun. we're trying to do a women's history month dance performance and we had our entire dance routine done and all the edited songs and then suddenly the vice principal contacted us and was pissed. she was angry that we were performing under a student run group in the lunchroom instead of under an actual club and said that our dances were "too sexual" and therefore a "bad representation of our school"

i am pissed and still am. we had to change our entire song choices and choreography. even the DANCE teacher said that it was "sexual". she said "people oversexualize movement but you need to understand where they're coming from." no i don't bitch!! we're kids!!

so yeah, we're still performing but we were basically made fun of and told we're too sexual and that we're not representing women well?? idk. i'm just so pissed about it. i guess i'll fucking deal with it

i've been watching my little pony lately- like a lot. my plan is to go through the entire series with my friends. right now, we're on season 2. i’ve honestly forgotten how much i love this show. it feels weird watching something that i watched as such a young child but it’s still fun. plus, i actually never really watched the newer seasons or even the finale- that’s a while away now but we’re still gonna get there eventually

i’ve been meaning to also continue breaking bad. the same friend i’m watching mlp with is who i’m watching breaking bad with. i actually don’t remember what episode we’re on i think we’re still on season 2 but idk. the goth bitch showed up so that’s all i remember

PreCure. precure is another thing i’ve been watching a lot lately. since i’m trying to review every episode, i’m having to watch a lot of hirogaru sky and even then i still only have the 1st episode review out. oops!!! i’m gonna try to finish all the rest by the end of this weekend and it’ll be uploaded on my magical girl tumblr henshinskymirage!

speaking of precure though, my newest precure merch came a few weeks ago! from tokullectibles i got the new transformation item and the mirage pen. the mirage pen i have been literally using as a pen

i think that’s really all…! i’ve been having a good time lately so i don’t have much to complain about. this was a long one but i hope it was interesting